What if I tell you to follow these 7 steps and your entire life would shift in ways you’ve never imagined? We don’t need to constantly worry about our past mistakes, the future, or even what’s going on right now. We all feel down at points – that’s inevitable, but it is how you choose to react to those moments that makes all the difference.
I have done a lot of soul searching when I traveled, and I’ve come across some pretty incredible people, articles, books, and cultures that have all taught me so much. I’m sharing with you a few of the most important lessons I’ve learned that have drastically changed my life.
1. Release Judgement
This is one of the most important things I’ve learned thus far. Judgement is something we learn as a child. And as we grow, depending on our conditioning, judgement tends to play a huge role in our lives. Everything from judging the clerk’s bad hair day at the grocery store, to judging your classmate on their mediocre speech, and even to judging yourself. Let me make something clear, judgment in itself is one of the worst habits to come across. Not just because it’s an outright assumption we make up in our heads – usually without knowing the whole truth of the matter; and not just because it’s already making up your mind about a person, place or thing without really knowing it; but because keeping judgement in your life does absolutely nothing, besides bringing your inner frequency down. What do I mean by that? I mean that judging others and judging yourself are just reflections of the negativity inside yourself. We are in no way shapes or forms better than other human beings surrounding us. We are all unique, we all crave different things and we all share different lifestyles.
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti.
Let others live their lives. Let yourself live your life. Release judgement and you will find that life flows at a much easier pace.
2. Honor the Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction simply means that “like attracts like” – positive thoughts will manifest in your life as positive experience, while negative thoughts will do the same. This theory has been around for a while. People are manifesting the life they have always dreamed about for centuries.
Some of the world’s most influential people have all taken comfort in believing in what they think and receive. My advice? It works. Try it!
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein.
“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” – Buddha.
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.” – Henry Ford.
3. Build a Strong Foundation & Realize Happiness Comes from Within
This is something that will seriously make all the differences in the world. Something that always, always, always brings me out of a funk realizing that as long as I have a solid foundation, I am strong mentally and physically. I can handle “life.” So often we let situations outside of ourselves control how we feel on the inside. But how does that make sense? Work from the inside – out. Build a strong foundation filled with happiness and joy from within and share that with the world. There’s nothing we can’t handle when we have a strong core to fall back on. I don’t just mean physically.
Oftentimes in life, all it takes is a positive shift within yourself that will not only strengthen you and affect your life greatly, but will affect all of the lives around you. It will affect your relationships, your happiness, your selfimage and self.worth. It’ll affect your job, your family and your friends positively.
Build from within in order to create the lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about, in order to not only deal with, but conquer everyday life struggles.
4. Let go of Attachments
Attachments had been a huge part of my life. Especially as I grew and as I fell into a few serious relationships. I completely attached myself to my significant other. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with my attachment or dependency on outside sources. Yet at the same time, I didn’t realize how much I depended on things outside of myself to nourish me. I didn’t realize how broken I was on the inside.
“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.” – Steve Maraboli.
Attachment is scary, because when you lose the things you’re attached to, you feel like you’re losing yourself. Partly because you are. But it’s not a bad thing. When we attach ourselves to items, people and places, we lose everything that makes items, people or places special. We begin needing it, depending on it, no longer appreciating it for its presence in our lives, and more so doing anything in our power to keep it for our own selfish reasons. Because we “can’t” lose it.
I don’t think that’s what life is about. We are bound to lose people and things. Bound to change places. It’s inevitable.
“Happiness is not preventing those losses. It’s learning to adapt to them. It’s not the people and objects that fulfill the needs in my life that make me happy. I make me happy. And if those objects were all taken away, while I would mourn their loss, I would find new people and new objects, new activities and new passions, and build a new identity for myself, and live on.” – Mark Manson.
More “me” time. Personally, I think that’s what we need. To do the things that make our souls happy. To fulfil our needs so that when those special opportunities, places, people, things come into our lives, we don’t attach to them. We don’t depend on them. We just love and appreciate them for what they are. We develop a healthy relationship based on appreciation and openness rather than need and attachment.
5. Lead a Principle based life
Did I lose you? Let me elaborate. When our lives are based around the principles we value most, i.e., integrity, loyalty, trust, communication, love, etc., our lives take a dramatic turn for the best. Why? Because similar to step #4, when we cease to base our lives around outside sources – people, places, things; and we begin to base them around values and principles, we are able to put so much more energy in the execution of our personal growth and goals. We are essentially invincible.
If we are always worried about pleasing our partner, our community; or being “better than” our enemy, where does that leave our state of mind? Always in battle, and always in comparison, rather than leading with a base of core values allowing positivity and growth to come freely.
6. Learn to Love the Skin You’re in
It really is such a simple statement, but learning to love ourselves is probably one of the hardest things we will ever do.
I remember the day in middle school that I woke up and was like, “Wow, I don’t like this, this and this about my own body.” I wish I was different. Why don’t I have that person’s hair or eyes or skin tone? How can I look more like them? What can I do? Middle school people. Middle school is where my insecurities took over.
I remember when growing up, people would tell me I’m beautiful, and this and that; and I would actually sit there and wonder how they thought about me. I would think, “Wow, they must not be seeing all of these imperfections.” I realize now that it wouldn’t have mattered if I looked like my ideal image. I still would’ve been unhappy.
If there is one thing I could tell that girl back in middle school, it would be that she is absolutely fabulous. That the physical body is just a vessel. It’s not who we are. It’s not what defines us. I would tell her that if she is truly happy, those feelings will shine out of her and she will always look lovely. It doesn’t matter how others view you, it only matters how you view yourself. That you don’t need others’ approval. As long as you love yourself and accept yourself, you will always glow.
Learning to love and accept myself, my impurities and my imperfections was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. Learning is crucial, my friends.
7. Find a Healthy way to Destress
It’s something we can so easily forget, stress takes a huge toll on us all whether we acknowledge it or not. We can get wrapped up in other people, in things, and in feelings. But we forget to do the things that truly nourish us and let us forget about our daily stressors.
Whether your nourishment is within music, hiking, surfing, running, singing, it could be anything. Make sure you do something every day that clears your head, and brings you in tune with yourself.
As you do this, all other aspects of your life will fall into place naturally. Make time for yourself so you have more time for others. What’s my release lately? Hiking. No matter what else is going on in my life, for that hour or however long I decide to stay up on that mountain, all is well. There’s no background noise. It’s just me and my world. This is the type of serenity we need to create in our daily lives. Just a few moments of peace will make a world of difference in the long run.
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” – Sydney J. Harris
And there you have it, my friends! 7 tips that I hope will help you live happy and healthy life everyday.